be treated in USA or Thailand???

Posted: November 3, 2010 in Uncategorized

My good friend Jim Platzek–who was instrumental in getting me to come to Thailand for a brief visit in 2001–suggested that I return to California and be treated by my provider, the Kaiser Foundation.

I told Platzek he was a sick puppy. Treatment for hemodialysis requires four hours twice a week, plus thirty minutes to set up the machine. That amounts to nine hours a week of lying on my back.

I told sick puppy Platzek the INCREDIBLE cultural difference between being treated in the USA and Thailand. First of all, kon thai kii len–Thai people are playful.

Thai people have PLAYFUL NAMES. For example, my nurses at Bangkok Nursing Hospital are Honey (the ravishing beauty queen); there is Nurse Happy and Nurse Tick Tock.

Nurse Happy imitates my penguin waddle. I enjoy watching her waddle walk,

The head nurse is sexy Jeab. I asked her to give me a kiss (jup). She said she likes the idea but cannot jup me.

I told her that Dr. Bean, the kidney specialist who is the boss of the dialysis unit, said it was ok for her to jup me.

Sexy Nurse Jeab said, “I like the idea but cannot.”

Then there is Dr. Bean, always smiling. He makes himself available. Once, during a crisis situation, I phoned him from my condo; he was put thru to me by Nurse Tick Tock.

When I ran out of medications, Dr. Bean told me not to refill it at the hospital–too expensive. He wrote out a prescription. I had it filled at a pharmacy near my home at 1/3 the price.

Then there are the Thai patients. I always ask them (in Thai) if they speak Thai. “Can,” is their reply as they laugh.

One time, while waiting for the elevator in the lobby, a nurse was also waiting for the elevator. I asked what floor she was going to. “Floor five.”

I told her there was no floor five in the building.

She said I was lying.

When in the elevator she pressed floor five. I told her the elevator was lying about a floor five.

She asked if I was going to the mental ward.

I said, “Ha ha ho ho.”

She said, “Is true–you mental.”

I asked what her nickname was.

“Puu” (crab).

“Very nice,” I said.

I suggested that sick puppy Platzek come and see the eye candy galore that surrounds me in the dialysis unit.

Sick puppy Platzek came. He saw, He was convinced that treatment in a California Kaiser Foundation Hospital was a sick idea. I might save money as I am insured in California but I prefer to be in the hands of service-oriented, soft-spoken, cheerful, nurturing and crazy-nick named Thai folk.

Dr. Bow Tie, an internist on floor four, is named by me because he wears you-know-what.

For once, Richard da LIAR-heart is not lying.

PS: I am waiting for Nurse Ping Pong to appear in the dialysis unit.

NEXT POSTING: my thoughts on genius

  1. The Beav says:

    Me thinks that YOU are the reason everyone is Happy.

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