“In the depths of winter,
I finally learned that
within me there lay an
incredible summer”

My street-style interpretation: We is more than we think we is.

Albert Camus, the existentialist and writer, hung out with Sarte and his consort.
Hmmm, I can’t remember her name. Like Sarte and Camus she is
also a famous writer. Perhaps Dr. Ya Ya knows her identity.


My Plan To Topple Kaddafi

Posted: March 6, 2011 in Uncategorized

Last week I received a registered special delivery letter from Paris. I knew it was from Interpol.

The Chief Inspector of the esteemed international police agency informed me that my request to be deputized as an Interpol Special Agent was approved.

I had to reply by telephone—they would accept a collect call. Since I had Skype I decided to save Interpol the long distance charges.

Before I called the Interpol Chief, General Charles de Gaul, I had to choose a code name. This, of course, was to protect

As requested I Skyped the Interpol hotline.

After going thru the multiple prompts, I was told there was a final question to answer.

What is your code name?

Double O Seven, I told the hotline secretary.

Sorry, Sir, 007 is taken.

OK, my code name is Richard Rhubarb. I was calling at the request of the Interpol Chief Inspector Charles de Gaul.

After several moments, the hotline secretary informed me that Richard Rhubarb is not recognized as an Interpol Special Agent.

To verify that I wasn’t a crank caller she asked me to read the encoded numbers and letters at the bottom right hand of the letter.

As requested, I looked at the special code and gave her the information.

I will connect you to the Chief Inspector. The first question he will ask you is to give him your encoded numbers and letters followed by your real name followed by your code name.

General Charles de Gaul answered. Please confirm the following info—

I interrupted him by providing the three details.

Welcome aboard, deputized Interpol Special Agent Rhubarb, General de Gaul said. Report to the Air France counter at the new airport in Bangkok. You have a first class ticket to Paris. A representative will meet you upon your arrival.

Me and my Habipti, my puppy (an Arabic name meaning Sweetheart), were met at the Parisian airport and whisked to General de Gaul’s office at Interpol Headquarters.

Is the puppy necessary for your mission? Gen. de Gaul asked.

Absolutely General, As you may know, Habipti is Arabic for Sweetheart. Puppy understands Arabic commands. He went to language school in Bangkok.

But what’s Sweetheart’s purpose?

General, Kolonel Kaddafi and his three sons will be influenced by the puppy’s love.

General de Gaul thought A very good idea. He addressed me as deputized Agent Richard Rhubarb.

We got down to business. I was given a GPS that would lead me to Kolonel Kaddafi’s office. I was provided with four pairs of handcuffs for the Kolonel and his three sons.

I told the General that I preferred Chinese cuffs to the standard cuffs. Chinese cuffs are placed into the thumbs of the culprit. A chain links the cuffs together.

I was also given credentials that announced and two documents. One document was from General Charles de Gaul informing Kolonel Kaddafi of my status with Interpol.

The second document was from the Chief Prosecutor of the International Court of Justice in the Hague, Sabina le Chocolat.
This important document informed Kolonel Kadaffi that the bearer was to arrest the Libyan non-leader of his people along with his three sons and bring them
to the Hague for a criminal prosecution. The charge was war crimes. A very serious charge.

The following week three more Interpol agents were to arrest the Kadaffi’s leading henchmen and henchwomen to transport them to the Hague on a first class Air France flight from Benghazi to Paris.

I was also given a two-way wrist radio to communicate with Interpol HQ.

The Hague document was stylishly done by sprinkling key phrases: It opened with Dear Kolonel Kaddafi, Allah Akbir (God is Great), following my Allah, the most merciful, the compassionate, the beneficent, etc.

The end of the document contained the muscle. This will be discussed at the showdown meeting with Libya’s non-leader and his three sons.

I received training to ride a camel. I preferred the two-hump variety. Two humps provided a sort of saddle for me.

I named the camel Winston, after Winston Churchill and the cigarette.

Habipti (puppy), Winston and I, deputized Interpol Agent Rhubarb, were dropped from a spy plane at an altitude of 200,000 feet. That height was non-detectable by Libyan radar and sonar. The two parachutes contained me, Habipti and Winston ten miles from Tripoli at an oasis. On cue, we were met by a dozen Bedouins, who were opposed to the non-leader. We feasted on dates, coconut milk, pita bread, yogurt, hummus and baba.
One of the Bedouins, Mohammad al-el Mohammad acted as an interpreter. He rode a one-hump camel.


The security forces laughed when they saw me. I was dressed in my Lawrence of Arabia costume. They laughed when they found out puppy’s Arabic name.
They couldn’t stop guffawing when they learned of my mission to arrest the Libyan non-leader and his three sons.
I displayed the Chinese cuffs. They also thought that was another joke.
Finally, we were admitted into Kaddafi’s mile-high and mile-wide tent.

I showed him the arrest document issued by the International Court of Justice in the Hague. His sons were shown the document and my credentials from Interpol. They too thought it was a joke.

I showed them the Chinese cuffs. They had never seen the likes of it before. Curious, they tried it on. The more they struggled to remove the shackles, the tighter it became.

I told the non-leader to read the fine print at the bottom of the arrest document.

It informed them that if I failed to contact Interpol by a certain hour all hell would break loose.

All hell was spelled out in the video.

The video was played. The Israeli Prime Minister, Benny Betenyahoo was the chief player. It warned the non-leader that 1) a no-fly zone would be set into motion ASAP if the war crimes criminals failed to report at the Benghazi airport at a specified time; 2) Israeli intelligence knows the exact location of the Libyan airports and heliports. Smart missiles would be launched to demolish them; 3) Israel would be helping Arabs instead of attacking them. Only the non-leader’s hallucinogenic drug addicts would be destroyed in the missile attacks; 4) the non-leaders favorite tent would be flown to the Hague.
PM Benny Betanyahoo reminded the Kolonel that Israeli intelligence was the best in the world. They succeeded in releasing Israeli hostages in the Uganda airport several years ago; Israeli intelligence found Eichmann; Israeli intelligence played a vital role in the 1967 Six-Day war.

Israeli PM Benny Betanyahoo concluded with this video statement: Shalom, Everybody loves Kaddafi, including the International Court of Justice.

Rabbi Moses, wearing a yarmulke, appeared on the video. Rabbi Moses said, Everybody loves Kaddafi. He gave his blessing in Hebrew and Arabic.

Six camels rode from Tripoli, heading for the desert oasis ten miles away.

The banner on the fuselage of the Air France plane screamed: Everybody loves Kaddafi.

Kaddafi swelled with pride. He said, You see, everybody loves me.

Meet Baby Belgian

Posted: February 20, 2011 in Uncategorized

Baby Belgium with Lunch Bunch at Bangkok's Sizzler's

Baby Belgium is a whopper 350 pounds.

When Baby Belgium takes his holiday to the Land of Heaven on Earth he brings a box of Belgium chocolates to the Lunch Bunch-ers on Friday at Sizzler’s near the Thong Lo Skytrain station.

His job in Belgium is Harbor Master at Antwerp’s sea port. I asked if he blows the whistle when he sees two ships are about to collide.

Baby Belgium said, “Richard, we stopped blowing the whistle fifty years ago. We use GPS and other modern devices to observe where the ships are.”

“I see,” Baby Belgium, pleased to be privy to this updated info.

Baby Belgium told me that Americans are an unhappy bunch. “Except for the expats,” he said. “The only happy Americanos are the expats living abroad. Living in the USA is serving a prison sentence.”

He noted that only 5% of Americans have passports. “Your countrymen and countrywomen are ignorant of world affairs. They still think the USA is the center of the world.”

Baby Belgium challenged me to tell him the geographic location of Belgium.

I told him that was an easy. When I am in the USA I take the Coney Island ferry in Brooklyn. Twenty minutes later the ferry arrives at the Antwerp Harbor in Belgium. I get off the boat and buy a box of Belgium chocolates and hang out with Belgians.

He told me I was wrong. I said it’s obvious Baby Belgium hasn’t taken a look at the latest world map on the internet.

Baby Belgium speaks Flemish, French, English, German, Spanish AND THAI.

I told him I speak Arabic, Finnish, Cherokee Indian, a little Mongolian and some English.

“I know why they call you Richard the Liar-heart,” Baby Belgium said. “You don’t speak Finnish or Arabic. But you do speak a little English.”

He added: “There is no ferry boat ride from Coney Island to Antwerp.”

“Baby Belgium,” I said. “Telling the truth makes me sick. Thus speaking the truth is harmful to me. Do you understand?”

“You always lie.”

“Thank you soooo much, Baby Belgium.”

I asked Baby Belgium for his favorite quotation: He said he likes my quote on the blog: “Life is too serious to be taken seriously.”

Baby Belgium asked me for my favorite quote: “If you thinketh too much, you thinketh too much.”

He told me there are 150 beer brands in Belgium. I told him that’s a lot of beer producers in such a small country.

Baby Belgium doesn’t drink beer. “If you did,” I said, “you would weigh 450 pounds instead of 350.”

I asked if he believes in reincarnation. “Yep yep, Richard, I do.”

I told him I plan to come back as a house dawg.

What would he like to come back as?

He is thinking about it and will email his answer from Belgium.

I asked Baby Belgium to tell the Lunch Bunch-ers his favorite story about Belgium. I quote Baby: “Surprised while burgling a house, the thief ran out the back door, hopped over a fence and landed in the exercise yard of Antwerp’s city prison.”

He asked for my favorite New Yorker story. I said: “A tourist asked a New Yorker how to get to Carnegie Hall. “Practice practice practice.”

Baby Belgium, a gentle whopper, leaves for Belgium next week. He will return to Heaven on Earth on his next holiday. I will give him a farewell present—a whistle in the event the GPS and other devices crash.

THE LUNCH BUNCH-ers are: Arthur (aka UK is OK), Michelle (aka Beach Bum, Aussie), Baby Belgium, Ron Ibold (aka U-Boat, California), Herb (Herbal, New York), Jim (Sick Puppy, Calif.), Richard (Rotten Richard, Richard da Liar-Heart, NY), Les (Do More With Les, Chicago), Randy (Five-Oh, Hawaii), Nuch (Lady Randy, Siam), Roberto (don Roberto, Calif), Don (Magick Man, Aussie), Billy Boy (guitar player, Calif.), Thai Thom (world traveler, USA) and Bill Bill (the Good Samaritan, USA).

ADDENDUM: An occasional member of the Lunch Bunch is Lek Lek (Little Lek), my occasional girlfriend. She refers to me as ‘Wacky.’ In a movie she heard the expression “It’s raining cats & dogs.” Whenever it rains she texts me: “Wacky, it rain cat and dog in my district.” Another occasional member is Lek Yai (Big Lek) and Dave (Hawaii).

Where do suicide bombers go?

Posted: February 8, 2011 in Uncategorized

I emailed this question to Dr. Omar Zaid, my new friend, “Where do suicide bombers go after they blow themselves up?”

His answer: “According to traditional eschatology, they are
abused in their graves until judgment day, at which time they are
publicly humiliated for the fools they are and then sent straight to
hell for a kind of purgatory lik term (40,000 earth years), after
which they are released to one of the lower realms of heavenly reward
for at least believing in a non-anthropomorphic Creator without any
human relatives or partners.”

Check out his site:


I told him that his response should be made available EVERYWHERE in the material and non-material universe.
Dr. Zaid is an MD and a Research Fellow at the prestigious International Institute of Islamic Thought and Civilization. ISTAC is a research and postgraduate institution of the International Islamic University Malaysia (IIUM) offering master and doctoral degrees in Islamic and other civilizations; philosophy, ethics and contemporary issues; Islamic spiritual culture and contemporary society; Muslim world issues; and their respective sub-areas. The institute provides a unique opportunity to study with Muslim scholars from all over the world.

He provided the following citations:

On Suicide: from Huda, About.com Guide

There are a few quite specific sanctions expressed in the Quraan
against self-killing. The Prophet Muhammad (SAW) also assigns suicide
to the lower levels of Hell.
Allah says explicitly in the Quraan,
“And do not kill yourselves. Surely, Allah is Most Merciful to you”.
(Surah An-Nisa Verse 29)
In another verse of the Quraan, Allah says:
“And do not throw yourselves in destruction”. (Surah Al-Baqarah Verse 195)

* Suicide is forbidden. “O ye who believe!… [do not] kill
yourselves, for truly Allah has been to you Most Merciful. If any do
that in rancour and injustice, soon shall We cast him into the
Fire…” (Qur’an 4:29-30).

* The taking of life is allowed only by way of justice (i.e. the
death penalty for murder), but even then, forgiveness is better. “Nor
take life – which Allah has made sacred – except for just cause…”

* In pre-Islamic Arabia, retaliation and mass murder was
commonplace. If someone was killed, the victim’s tribe would
retaliate against the murderer’s entire tribe. This practice was
directly forbidden in the Qur’an (2:178-179). Following this
statement of law, the Qur’an says, “After this, whoever exceeds the
limits shall be in grave chastisement” (2:178). No matter what wrong
we perceive as being done against us, we may not lash out against an
entire population of people.

* The Qur’an admonishes those who oppress others and transgress
beyond the bounds of what is right and just. “The blame is only
against those who oppress men with wrongdoing and insolently
transgress beyond bounds through the land, defying right and justice.
For such there will be a chastisement grievous (in the Hereafter)”

* Harming innocent bystanders, even in times of war, was forbidden
by the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him). This includes women,
children, noncombatant bystanders, and even trees and crops. Nothing
is to be harmed unless the person or thing is actively engaged in an
assault against Muslims.

Here’s just a few about the murder of innocents, etc.

“Fight in the cause of God those who fight you, but do not transgress
limits; for God loveth not transgressors. (The Noble Quran, 2:190)”

“But if the enemy incline towards peace, do thou (also) incline
towards peace, and trust in God: for He is One that heareth and
knoweth (all things). (The Noble Quran, 8:61)”

Dr. Zaid’s latest work The Hand of Iblis—a study of evil. (Iblis is the devil in Islam)has drawn raves.
Dr. Zaid is both fair and brutally honest.
Dr. Mohamed Abdel Kader Hatem, Former Prime Minister of Egypt (Mar. 2010)
Brilliant! I haven’t read such a powerful combination of ideas and studies in years. o,
Correspondent and Critic (Mar. 2010, re: The Hand of Iblis)
Dr. Zaid’s Hand of Iblis is filled with extraordinary facts and exceptional analysis.
Prof. Ibrahim Abu-Rabi in 2009; internationally known scholar and former editor of
The Muslim World who presently holds the Edmonton Council of Muslim Communities’ Chair in Islamic Studies, University of Alberta, Canada.
The Hand of Iblis is finely sifted and mercilessly to the point. The author unveils the present organizational structure and methodologies of secret societies worldwide. Substantiated with documents, inside information, iconographic and archeological proofs along with excellent analysis; Dr. Zaid weaves an extremely detailed tapestry and accurate account of the occult interference in the history of mankind―inclusive of respected historical figures… Dedicated to God‘s Wisdom and Tawhid, I laud the author‘s presentation of a genuinely evenhanded academic thoroughness; one that does not exclude the Divine Revelation. I can say no more than this: ‘Bravo Dr. Zaid’.
Dr. Franz Josef (Ysusf) von Hofler, Ph.D., Islamic and Other Civilizations, ISTAC
I now understand why for thirty years my best ideas and efforts have been blocked by my superiors. It is time to retire and build an ark.
The late Haji Mohd. Taufek Sahran, Dir. of Hikmah, Kuching, E. Malaysia, (2005)
Dr. Omar is the most un-politically correct writer I know. His relentless pursuit of truth is unsparing. That is why we need him and more like him.
Prof. Dr. Hassan EL-Nagar; African, English, Arabic & Comparative Literature (ISTAC)

Dr. Omar Zaid, my new friend, thank you sooooooo much.

to the dance,


Joyful Dreams

Posted: January 12, 2011 in Uncategorized

Attention. Ack-tung. I’ve been practicing Joyful Dreams. Go to Aish.com site. In the search box plug in “Joyful Dreams” by Rabbi Zelig Plislin.
After my second try the Rabbi’s method worked. The dream was sooooo joyful and sex wasn’t in the nocturnal trip.
The Rabbi said not to worry if there are no immediate results. Remember when a tourist asked a New Yorker how to get to Carnegie Hall, the NY’er replied: “Practice practice practice.”
Good luck for more joy in your life, even when asleep.

my next life

Posted: December 24, 2010 in Uncategorized

In my Thai class the topic of reincarnation came up.

In my next life I want to be a house dawg (maa baan),” I said.

“A house dog,” Jessica gasped.

“Yes, a house dawg.”

“I thought an animal is lower on the evolutionary scale than human,” Jessica said, obviously surprised.

I explained that a dawg’s cup runneth over with love galore. A dawg doesn’t judge. If the dawg’s master is a master criminal the dawg’s love still runneth over.

“If the dawg’s owner is sick,” I said, “the house dawg takes care of him or her. The sick person gets wots of licks.”

I explained that a dawg is an evolved soul, even if it is in the body of a dawg. A house dawg fills the dwelling with love every day. Even when the dawg is sleeping, he still exudes love to all that lives in the house.”

The other students and the teacher had no comment on what they want to be in the next life. I think the Westerners don’t believe in coming back for another performance.

Before the next class I will come early and tawk to the secretaries. There is “A” (her nickname. She was born first, thus “A.”) There is Secretary “B.” Obviously, she was the second born.

I like to banter with them before the class. Kon Thai kii len (Thai people are playful). They banter back.

One of my favorite sayings when I depart from Thai people is gere gun chat naa (see you next life). They reply chat nii (this life). I say “chat naa, bye bye.”

Nurses Honey and Tick Tock

Posted: December 10, 2010 in Uncategorized

Nurses Honey and Tick Tock (wearing the mask) at Bangkok Nursing Hospital. Nurse Tick Tock loves to sing lullabyes to me. How lucky can a guy get?

Nurse Honey

Posted: December 9, 2010 in Uncategorized

Nurse Honey


Meet Nurse Honey. She is one of the nursing staff that takes care of me when I have dialysis twice a week at Bangkok Nursing Hospital. I always look forward to seeing Honey, a real Thai treat.

update 101

Posted: November 30, 2010 in Uncategorized

Several people, including Monk Pandit, have asked when the next blog is a comin’.

Answer: Now.

I’m busy working on a new book, Entering The Supernatural. So far I will be reporting on 18 different ways to heighten our awareness, increase our sensitivity, accelerate our insight, be propelled into our mysterious and obliging unconscious mind, have fun playing with our inner universe and dreamin’ the dream that isn’t a dream.

Drop me a line about your method of entering the supernatural state. Notice the “natural” as applied to the supernatural.

So far no word from the potential publisher of my completed book, The Spaghetti Trafficker & Other Bangkok Characters The editor-in-chief has been looking it the manuscript for three weeks. No news is good news..

I will be taking pics of the nursing staff on Friday and post them a day or two later along with my latest adventure with the staff at the Bangkok Nursing Hospital, where I receive dialysis twice a week. I call the 4 ½ hour process “demon-analysis” as there is a dark side to hemodialysis. I met a friend in dialysis. She’s been riding the demon for five years (no kidding, FIVE YEARS). She’s waiting for a kidney transplant. Her story will be incorporated in the upcoming posting.

I did a laughing yoga session with 10-year old school kids last Saturday. I will post pics of the event. The photos will appear in the blog. I violated a Thai taboo during the laugh-in session. The kids and teacher found it hilarious. Ching ching kon thai kii len (it’s true—Thai people are playful).

Thai nicknames

Posted: November 17, 2010 in Uncategorized

As many of us know, Thai people are playful (kon thai kii len). This is evident in the nicknames parents give to their children.
Top of the list and number one is
1. Monk Coconut (Pratow). Eric is from San Diego. He came to Thailand to be ordained as a Buddhist monk. He heard the Thai penchant for nicknames.

2. Muu Muu (Pig Pig). It’s the name of my filmmaker friend, Muu Muu. I call him Muu Muu Pig Pig. One day he said, “Richard, don’t call me Muu Muu Pig Pig.”
I said, “What you want me to call you?”
Muu Muu Pig Pig said, “Call me Muu Muu.”
I said, “Ok Muu Muu.” Then I turned away from him and whispered, “Pig Pig.

3. Ay (Shy). She told me her mom said, “I was too shy to come out.”

4. Beer. That’s her name, Beer. Her mom and dad met at a karaoke bar. They became drinking buddies. They married. When the baby was born they were jubiliant and named her you-know-what.

5. M. That’s his name—M. He’s named after his father’s M Import Export Co.

6. Gop (Frog)

7. Muoy She’s a waitress in a restaurant. I kept calling her Muoy. A Thai gent came to my table and told me the waitress’ name is Oy, not Muoy. He told me Muoy means Pubic Hair. He pointed out Oy was too shy to correct me.

8. Jim. She’s a nurse in the hemodialysis unit at Bangkok Nursing Hospital. If I say Jim in the wrong tone it means “Pussy.’

9. Suk (Happy). That’s a nurse’s name in the dialysis unit. It’s also the name of a fab tango dancer.

10. Tick Tock, a nurse in the dialysis unit.

11. Ping Pong, a waitress at Via Vai Restaurant on Sukhumvik Soi 8 in Bangkok.

Let me know other Thai nicknames. Thank you soooooo much.

Thoughts on genius

Posted: November 5, 2010 in Uncategorized

Thoughts on Genius
. My favorite author, David Hawkins (Power Vs. Force) claims that by virtue of our birth, all of us have access to genius. Right on.

Quoting Hawkins (p. 197): “Recognized geniuses may be rare, but genius resides within all of us…Genius is available to each and every person.”

Really? Yes. Hawkins explains: “Each of us has had moments of genius in our lifetime, perhaps only known to ourselves or to those close to us. We suddenly make a brilliant move or decision, or say exactly the right thing at the right moment, without knowing why. We might even like to congratulate ourselves for these fortuitous events” (p.197)

What I especially like about David Hawkins thoughts on genius is found in these statements: “Those who are humble and grateful fort illumination received tend to continue to have the capacity to access genius; those who credit the inspiration to their own ego soon lose this capacity or are destroyed by their own success. High power, like high voltage, must be handled with respect” (p.198).

Hawkins insists that humility characterizes people of genius. Once again, Right on.

Hawkins disagrees that a high IQ is an important component of being a genius. He writes: “It would be helpful to see genius as simply an extraordinarily high degree of insight in a given area of human activity. Keep in mind that IQ is merely a measure of academic capacity for logically comprehending symbols and words.”

Hawkins goes on to say: “Genius can be more accurately identified by perseverance, courage, concentration, enormous drive and absolute integrity—talent alone is certainly not enough.”

I like this Hawkins thought: “Genius is notoriously interpreted as unconventionality or eccentricity. It’s true that such people…have a different perspective on life; therefore, things have a different significance for them than they do for the average person. The genius is frequently inspired to intense activity by insights beyond our understanding.”

TAKE A LOOK AT the following definitions of genius. Excerpted from Dictionary.com

1.An exceptional natural capacity of intellect, especially as shown in creative and original work in science, art, music, etc.: the genius of Mozart.
2.a person having an extraordinarily high intelligence rating on a psychological test, as an iq above 140.
3. natural ability or capacity; strong inclination: a special genius for leadership.
4. distinctive character or spirit, as of a nation, period, or language.

5. the guardian spirit of a place, institution, etc.
6. either of two mutually opposed spirits, one good and the other evil, supposed to attend a person throughout life.

7. a person who strongly influences for good or ill the character, conduct, or destiny of a person, place, or thing: Rasputin, the evil genius of Russian politics.

TAKE ANOTHER LOOK at definitions 6 and 7. They focus on the evil aspect of genius. David Hawkins focuses on the light aspect but ignores the dark side. People who come to mind on the negative side of genius are Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, Hitler, Stalin, Rasputin and the Marquis de Sade.

As many of you know, I have personal acquaintance with the mind, heart and soul of one of the above dark personalities: Charles Manson. (See the Books section in the blog.) From 1975 to 1992 I was California State prisoner B33920 confidant and nemesis. He sent me 92 letters and 12 postcards. I visited him twice in the prison nuthouse. Manson sent me 35 pounds of mail written to him from family members, prisoners, ministers, admirers, witches, children and grownups from the USA, Canada, the UK, Poland, Germany and other countries.

Manson ended our relationship in 1992 when he wrote that he cannot trust me: “I am a cold slimy ragtime cowboy shark.”

Why he does not trust me: I discovered his 10 favorite methods of seducing people into his sphere of influence. I told him what they were.

To my amazement, sex and drugs were only two components of his genius to attract people into his fold.

His remarkable insights—which are one of David Hawkins aspects of genius—characterize Manson, as does his sense of humor.

HERE ARE SOME EXCERPTS FROM HIS LETTERS. They show his remarkable insights, sense of humor, his playfulness, his fondness for killing and his dispensation from God to kill.

August 20 1975. Manson’s First letter.Four legal-sized paper. From San Quentin.
“Richard you are an uninformed dummie…Prison has been home all my life. Hows your prison?…You couldn’t confront me with your eyes or stand in front of me without shaking in your shoes…Your doctor friend is right—CM is brain dead…”

August 21 1975. Second letter. Two-pages, legal-sized paper. From San Quentin.
“Dear Richard, Ive been thinking about that smart letter I wrote to you yesterday. I was mad at the world. If I had a kecit (cassette) recorder and you had one –you could ask questions & I could answer. & you may be able to put a book together.
“Ive been in darkness so long that Im kinda blind…we can work out a great book.” permission

Post card from San Quentin 1975 (postmark blurred)
“You’re a nut—what you like or dont like about CM can stand in line with the rest who only judge there own reflections. Im not trying to beat you at any thing…Im a person of peace & a servant not a warrior.” Git me a kecit” (NOTE: cassette recorder). PERMISSION

August 27 1975. letter from San Quentin. Six-pages on 8 ½ inch paper.
“The truth is there aint no Charles Manson. He’s a face that done
everything he was told to do. …
“Your willing to come in a prison background unknwn to you. That’s ok & I like that…I respect when you tell the truth & say ‘I will wright what I wright.
“I know you are for you & that’s good because then you can lift me a little.”

September 3 1975 from San Quentin. Four-page letter on 8 ½ inch paper. Sig.
Manson wants me to interview Lynn Fromme, Sandy Good and other family members for the book. Permission
He talks about Howard Huse (Hughes) selling Jane Russell’s pussy. He writes: “Gov Brown cant make a decision if you hit over the head with a stick.” (This refers to my ongoing attempt to get a tape recorder to Manson.) “Richard, no 1000 books could hold the madness I carry,.” He commented that he is handcuffed and put in leg irons whenever he leaves his cell.

September 16 1975. Letter from news director of a San Francisco TV
station requesting an interview to talk about Manson’s continuing influence over Lyn “Squeaky” Fromme’s failed assassination attempt of President Ford on September 5 1975.

Instead of replying to the news director, Manson wrote on the other
side of the page and sent it to me. He invited me to be his press agent. He thinks this will help me in my book. permission. (I declined to be his press agent.)

Nov 24 1975 Letter from San Quentin. Four pages on legal-sized paper.
(NOTE: When Manson’s mad he writes in BIG SCRAWLS. Many big scrawls in this letter.)
“If” seems to be your biggest most used word. I don’t give a fuck for NOTHING…To me you are a bowl full of maggots.” (NOTE: He’s just getting warmed up.)
This six-page letter on 8 ½ inch paper also dated Nov 24 1975. From San Quentin.
Manson tells about a woman killing a woman and writing ‘pig’ on the wall in blood. This is in reference to the multiple stabbing is Sharon Tate and her eight-month baby in Sharon’s womb.

He makes another reference to the Sharon Tate murder on that fateful night of August 9, 1969. “No one sees security is insecurity.’

In this long letter Manson writes: “Im as simple as my misspelled words—But there is some things you don’t see about me. I have a few rulls (rules) …To be free from ego…to be free from want, to be free from the self—to make up a new self—I see all the levels of the universe looking thru all eyes.”

Postcard received January 13 1976 from San Quentin.
Manson becomes frustrated as he tries to explain why he’s been in darkness for most of his life.
Received January 15 1976 from San Quentin. Six pages on 8 ½ by 11 inch paper.
He opens the letter with the swastika symbol. While he seems to be rambling and incomprehensible, on further scrutiny his philosophy of life is expressed in a round-about manner. Sig.
Received January 23 1976 from San Quentin. Four-page letter 8 1/2 inch paper
One page contains Manson drawings, featuring a double swastika.
“If there is no you I cant play me & without me you cant play faces with you.”
He refers again to the year 1969 (the Sharon Tate and LaBianca murders) which landed him in prison.
January 23 1976 from San Quentin. Ten pages on 8 ½ inch paper. Im good & bad confession.
THIS REMARKABLE STATEMENT: “Im good good & Im bad bad also & bad in ways that only I know in the darkness of the minds knowing.”
An eloquent treatise on lying and telling the truth. “Most people need a big stick over them or they will lie themselves to the grave.”
.How he trained his women at the Spahn ranch on never to interrupt when men are speaking: “I set that very rull (NOTE: rule) at the ranch.
He lavishes praise on me: “You must be the beautiful you see.”
Then this remarkable remark: “Most people need a big stick over them (to prevent them from lying) or they will lie themselves to the grave. I don’t have any hate mail.” (NOTE: I asked how many hate letters he received. Answer is none. In the 35 pounds of mail he later sent I failed to find any hate letters.) He is sending me mail from Lyn Fromme & Sandy Good to help me write the book, He never owned any animals but he had a dog, a goat, a snake, a wolf and a bird “but I didnt play people with them. I showed them my teeth & growled loud & them seen me & we learned to live under me. (NOTE: Even animals bowed to CM’s will.)
He assured me that “no harm coming to going to you—that is your minds brain. Are you looking for harm. Can you work with Elf (Dennis Rice). (NOTE: Later on Elf and I got into a big time squabble. This was my first showdown with a family member. The incident is reported in chapter what chapter?? I entered Manson’s mind and used his words to words in the confrontation with Elf. I wrote Manson about this.)
He refused a $600,000 advance from a book publisher.
He comments on two female family members and Elf to visit me.
He signed a paper allowing me to interview him as a member of the press. Permission to publish the book granted. He is allowed one press every 3 months. He chose me over 60 Minutes and others who besieged him.
He accused me of “working for Nixsons money. I have “been working on the book for 6 months. Ive been working on saving a race of people for 16 years. You are so far behind in your thoughts…He chastises me for letting the pregnant family woman who visited me with Elf. According to CM”s interpretation of her, I am ‘mentally retarded.
Then he congratulates me as he can see thru my eyes.
Then comes another put down of me: I like others, am “a blind asshole. Its not for Charlie to know RR (NOTE: me) its for R&R (NOTE: me again) to know himself. Ive always been in known & a slave to the truth.”
MYSTICAL: He’s all knowing when he writes: “Ive lived forever beyond your time.”
It’s time to slap me around again when he calls me a robot.
Time for another slam: “Its doubtful if youll understand ½ of the scribbles what I want to say if all your working for is Nixons money then you can lay down & die.”
This is followed by another exciting diatribe, putting me down in an exotic way.
Then this literary/mystical gem: “Im a pig to the men Im a punk to the liers (NOTE: liars) to the fools Im a fool.”
Attack time again in a humorous manner: “You serve that god $–suck on that for a while…you can take your book to the grave (NOTE: permission taken away).
Then this chilling comment: “I could say for every day Ive been kept in prison I will kill 50 people. Every one would say hes lieing he will kill no one—or I could say I love you all & I wont kill no one—no one would believe that & theyd would say hell (NOTE: he’ll) kill 50 people for each day we have kept him in prison. What is the truth.” He continues with more remarkable comments on this theme.
“No one gives a fuck about CM but CM & hes got to look out for CM.”
He refers to nature: “In wolfs (NOTE: wolves) is olne falls down the rest reed on him & eat him.”
“No one believes in God (NOTE: CM capitalized the G word) –its just a dumb word so they wont revert to dogs & wolfs and eat each other.”
He relates a touching story about saving a tree. The law was called. They asked what he was doing to the tree. He said he was covering its wound with tar so the tree would heal itself. The law asked if was his tree. CM said the tree belonged to itself. The law told him to take a walk.
On page 5 CM tells why he had to cut of the ear of someone. “I told him what was wrong could be fixed…he used me as an excuse to git himself cut.”
Received in 1976 (postmark blurred) from San Quentin. Two page ltr on 8 ½ in paper.
CONFESSES IN FIRST PERSON—“Im a mass killer a legal mass murdering beast.”
He keeps “a little list in my mind & I give dispensation to people who ask me if there is anything they can do for me.” (NOTE: He administers “dispensation”—indicating he is a potentate, an absolute monarch, an authority figure who rules his subjects. A dictionary definition of potentate: “A ruler who is unconstrained by law.”)
Received 1/22/76 San Quentin 4 pages on 8 ½ inch paper. Page 4 is drawing of swastika and robot bodies.
He writes problems are created by the culture and society giving wrong rules between men and women. He lays out his philosophy about men and women and how he trained women to respect her man. “The people around me was my will for without them I was nothing. If there was no you I cant play me 7 without me you cant play faces with you. The problem for society leads to “Holy war around the world.”
He wants me to work with family member Elf (Dennis Rice).
Postcard from San Quentin. Date cannot be determined. Postage was eight cents.
“RR, you’re a nut—I don’t care is you like (NOTE: CM) or not… Git me a kecit. Im not trying to beat you at anything & Im a person of peace & a servant not a warrior.
Received January 27 1976. San Quentin 8 page ltr on 8 ½ inch paper.
CM in attack mode. “I did not judge you. I judged your paper words. Like you say my few words made you miserable. I puke blood I shit blood from your mothers poison…you may use what I wright on paper to remind yourself of how much of a sorry
miserable bastard you really are.
“LOOK I DID NOT BRAKE THE LAW to be here.” (NOTE: He sees himself as an all- powerful potentate; as an authority figure.”
(NOTE: He is not only above the law; he is the law, as kings and emperors were and still are in some countries).
“If I reflect a strong thought on you & you run back in your mothers mind…I yell at you to stand you up to the top of yourself we are still friends beating as one in our hearts.”
“If you had all the $ and not me you would have nothing—if I yell at you that don’t mean harm….Dont use me as an excuse to be anything other than your own love for yourself & once you git your mind out of working for $ you will see that if you got no water to drink & no air the money means little—if you got no life on earth where then can you spend all the money.”
“RR what kind of thought or book did you think we were getting into James Bond 007 or Mickey Mouse. I told you to get a tape recorder.” Permission.
“…do you think sit in a cell a nice 4 by 10 cell enjoy the wall in front of me.”
He writes about his mom; stating he was a 15 year old runaway.
(NOTE: CM pounds away at me again, saying I’m writing the book for $. He needs to beat me on my head with a stick. By constantly droning on about what he calls “the $ mind” he actually made me feel guilty. He’s coming across as a father figure.
Now he’s about to put my down again: “If you cant get a tape recorder to me what does it tell you.”
CM relates a story about a man in back of the courtroom during his trial. The man exerted a powerful influence on him.
Received January 27 1976 from Vacaville Correctional Facility. Eight-page letter on 8 ½ inch paper.
In opening paragraph Manson says: “You may use what I wright” (write).
On page 5 he says, “Your running so fast to make money (on the book) your overlooking the real value of a 41 year old (his age in 1976) childs mind locked up in a dark hole …”
He is frustrated about not me not being able to get him a tape recorder. I sent Manson Governor Brown’s letter on this matter. Permission.

April 16 1976. From Folsom. 1 page on 8 ½ inch paper.
CM is being transferred to Folsom. He suggests I come to Folsom to pick up the boxes of mail at the front gate.
“Im sending you the $50 back because I dont want it or need it.”
Apparently he forgot to send it back.

April 22 1976. From Folsom. 4 pages on 8 1/2 by 11” inch paper.
Manson is both mocking and playing with Christian ministers and Christian lay people who write to him.
That’s why he addresses “them” with the salutation, “Hail Caesar.”
CM mocks them for believing that Christ is dead.
Once again he refers to the “child’s mind.”
“In the one of Christ there is no you.”
Mention is made of Lt. Kelley (the leader of the Mai Lai massacre in Vietnam and Nixon’s eventual pardon of the lieutenant).
CM accuses Christians of being immersed in fear.
Received May 27 1976 from Vacaville. 2 pages on 8 ½ inch paper.
Manson request me to “use a lot of discretion in what you use. Don’t use anything that will reflect back on us (him & the family).
(NOTE: I had told him earlier I am the writer and will decide what to publish. He wrote back and said he admired me for being up front.)
He wants me to use many of Lyn Fromme’s letters. He did include a bunch of her correspondence when he mailed me the two crates of mail.
Second letter received May 27 1976. from Vacaville. 4 pages on 8 ½ in paper.
“You are misinformed Ive never owned people grils boys dogs rabbts snakes birds foxes ducks wolfs or nothing els but my sleeping bag & a guitar. I was trying to own my own self—”
CM stated this view before and will state it again. According to Timothy Leary’s report on meeting Manson at Folsom Prison and my interview with the corrections officer who eavesdropped on that meeting. Leary reprimanded Manson for being a “control freak.” Manson was quite upset. Leary then said that Manson should be studied by the CIA, FBI, Interpol and Scotland Yard as those think tanks have spend millions of dollars to find out how to influence and control people. Manson accomplished this without any help from Ph.D. researchers. Leary-Manson encounter is reported in chapter ?????
He threatens to cut my nose off.
He later states I should interview Lyn Fromme.
I cannot interview him until he has his next psych evaluation. Permission.
He re-states his position that he is for Earth Balance: an eco-solution to the environmental problems we face.
June 30 1976 Vacaville 4 page ltr on 8 ½ inch paper.
He’s been in prison for 30 years for “braking (braking) NO LAW…I (Richard) wasnt there so how would I know what happened. Once again, “I didnt brake the LAW…Im not working for no one—who wants to work for me will do as I tell them…”
HE’SAYING HE’S THE BOSS, the potentate. His will overpowers others. He likes to play the role of a confused child.

June 18 1976. From Vacaville. 3 pages of my typewriting report on a psychic analysis of CM’s handwriting.
CM comments on her comments on the 3 pages.
Cm also writes on the back of each page.
Dahlia, the psychic, is straight out or right on. She pulls no punches. She says CM gives no space to others. He comments.
She says he can influence me without me realizing the magnitude. She’s right on—he succeeded in brainwashing me.
She comments about his forceful nature. He comments back.
He’s very bright and creative. He comments.
About him being a control freak and how it came to be that way. His comments.
He is basically an earthbound person. His comment.
Both of us reach out and withdraw as part of our nature. His comment. (She’s right on about me)

June 22 1976. Vacaville. 6 pages on 8 ½ inch paper.
Manson claims he understands what’s going on because he is convinced he is in a child’s mind. From 30 years of darkness (written in 1976) he knows what happens before it happens. He comments on the two leaders of the SLA (NOTE: the group that kidnapped publishing heiress Patty Hurst). He mentions Pat Hurst (sic) and the SLA as being too dumb to succeed in their “Holy War” on the establishment.
He gets back to the subject of being all-seeing because of his confinement in darkness for 30 years.
He’s also convinced that people are fighting for what they dont know.
“You cant teach knowing because my knowing there is nothing to learn. (NOTE: this is an advanced Buddhist concept which states the empty mind becomes receptive, a veritable repository of truth and wisdom.)
CM comments how he got people to think his way.
In what he refers to as a person with a “dead head” that person (NOTE: Manson) has no ego or pride. (NOTE: Once again, he is in touch with advanced Buddhist concepts.)
June 30 1976. From Vacaville. 8 pages on 8 x ½ in paper.
PARADOXICAL STATEMENT: “How nice you are to me—now you keep me handcuffed & drag me all the fears.”
LIFE AS A KID: “Since 1943 Ive been beet (beat) fucked over used lied to & about & dragged through everything,”
TEACHING ME: ”It would take 20 years to teach you & 20 mor befor you would have enough sense…”
He sees Mexicans and blacks instilling fear in white society.
On page 3 he explains why he branded his head with the swastika.
HE WOULD KILL AGAIN: “If I was out (of prison) Id (I would) kill the motherfucker that put my picture in missions of minds.”

July 1 1976 from Vacaville. 2 pp on legal-sized paper. Sig.
PERMISSION. Manson wants to go along on the money trip with me regarding selling the book.
ON FEAR. “I dont like using fear but when love is absent then fear must be in.”
REGARDING MY INTERVIEW WITH HIM: “The one (interview) we did was not good at all Ive been feeling bad about it but for some reason we didn’t git it going right. In the interview room all the people looking (staff as well as trustees) were glued to the window facing CM)…I like your warmness.”
MAKING ME RICH: “Maybe RR CM can play making RR rich.”
“We are partners.”
“I wish you would keep my letters to yourself.”
Receive June or July 1976 (month & date blurred). From Vacaville. 8 pages on 8 x ½ in paper
Plus note from 13 yr old girl and CM’s comment on back of the note.
Girls’ name is Judi. Her mom said surname cannot be used. Name of town in Ct. cannot be used. Address cannot be sent because “my mother doesn’t want to get in trouble with the cops.” Judi says she loves CM.
The letter starts on page 10. CM is speaking to one of the family members.
“Big fish eat little fish & hate got nothin to do with the fact that one wolf falls the rest eat him & the vulture birds eat the eyes out of a baby lamb when its mother was not on the job. Look & accept your own bad because it all is you.”
(NOTE: CM talks about a sand hole in the desert where “I kept my stick over has power you never dreamed of. It would melt your body.)
He mention Ka (NOTE: not sure who he/she is). CM also refers to Bobby Beausolil and Bruce Davis—family member in jail for life.
CM goes on for several pages about the family. He concludes by telling the family member to send information to RR for my book.)

July 1 1976. from Vacaville. 6 page letter on 8 ½ paper.
Starts on p. 3. The letter is supposed to be sent to Sandy Good. She is CM’s third-in-command. He is not allowed to write to any family member. Perhaps his intention was for me to forward it to Sandy. I don’t know as pages 1 & 2 were not included in this missive.
He refers to he as “Bees.” She is also known as Blue.
What is amazing is this statement:
CONFESSION: “Maybe if I got out I could mass murder & put new laws. Ive come to live to kill…Ive got the power to do it the madness to carry it out & the dispensation from god.”
CM laments his plight of being kept confined against his will. On the numerous girls he recruited into his clan, he writes: “I was trying to pick my grils & women out of the streets & stop selling their ass & red (Lyn Fromme) gave it (her body) to many people who have not been working for the family circle.”
This gem comes: “There is no such thing as crazy each crazy act got a reason in the mind.” CM says how he would have responded to “the gardener.”
This is how CM would have responded to a dude named Partee. “As for Partee I would cut him up in 90 parts for getting off on that kid…”
He comments on his health being good yet he believes he cannot walk to the front gate without falling down.
CM writes about setting up Jack (known as “Tough Dude,” a member of the Aryan Brotherhood who protected Manson in prison). CM got one of his women friends to play house upon his imminent release).
He maintains that Sandy has “done the least of all people to hurt me. You’ve never lied to me or did anything that fell on me bad & I feel close to you.” He reminisces about Sandy’s charm.

July 7 1976 from Vacaville. 4 pages on 6”x9 ½ paper.
After lamenting about being confined to prison for 30 years, he again writes about dispensation. “I am the authority & hold dispensation.” (NOTE: He rules his subjects as a mighty monarch world. A dictionary definition of dispensation: “An exemption or release from an obligation or rule, granted by or as if by an authority. To pardon, to forgive.”)
He will stop writing to me. If I want more info I should interview Lyn Fromme or Sandy Good.
“If your gonna keep me locked up in a cage then fuck you to. Im mad at all earth people who keep me from seeing the sun & show me no mercy.”
July 7 1976 from Vacaville. Letter to Bees (Sandy Good, 3rd in command of the family, but sent to me. 4 pages on 8 ½ in paper.
Manson writes about the Tate House (Sharon Tate and others who were murdered on that fateful night in August 1969) “was not enough warning.”
CM goes on to state what a sufficient warning to the USA would be. Very graphic description.
CM extols the virtues of Bees. He does word play with her nickname—“Bees wees sees things the way they are.”
CM wants to know the names of the people who are responsible for cutting down the red wood trees.
NOTE: I did not send the letter to Sandy. If I did, my correspondence with CM would be terminated, according to the note from prison administrator Ed George, dated December 1 1976.)

July 7 1976 from Vacaville. This is addressed to “Dear Red” (Lyn Fromme).
NOTE: I did not send the letter to Lyn. If I did, my correspondence with CM would be terminated, according to the note from prison administrator Ed George, dated December 1 1976.)
ABOUT THE MURDERS: “I cant kill everyone that lies to us.”
He refers to the “rulls” (rules) and states that he is “feed (fed) up with carrying the confusion & louse (loose) ends. You all know what I can do.”
CM devotes much of this missive on the faults of a male family member named “Ks” (I don’t know who KS is). Ks wanted to be the boss of the ranch. CM states no one could play boss as well as CM.
CM re-states his position that he never lies. Others do but never him.
He laments that the ranch is gone. He is in the position of trying to keep the family together despite the separation in different prisons.

July 27 1976. 2 page ltr from Vacaville on 8 ½ in paper.
In this missive he again becomes mystical.
“Im not for real. To be free from ego, to be free from want, to be free from the self…to make up a new self…to not be affected by any thing. I see all levels of the universe looking all eyes…Im as smart as a 5 year old—that’s a lot to come up to…I like my cell
(4’x9’) & I don’t have no problems of my own.”
July 29 1976. 4 page ltr from Vacaville on 8 ½ inch paper. Another exceptional report. Manson doesn’t care if I am mad at him. “That’s a fool thing to show to anyone. They might think you’re a threat and shoot you like a mad dog. You’re a gentleman & anger does not become you.” On the other side of the page he likens anger to being a little kid who is trying to cover up his fear. “So wash your hands and lame brain out. He also likens anger to a little kid who had his lunch $ taken by a bully. He tells me to get a drink of water and dump it on my head.
He may let me live. Hi ho silver away.
CONFESSES AGAIN IN FIRST PERSON. “Yes Im a animal killer or whatever it takes for my own world & the people with me—my knife is so sharp…”
In this part of the letter he focuses on my comment about a violent society: “Do you mean my society or yours—my society is peaceful.
1976 postmark unclear. Four-page letter on legal-sized paper.
The Secret Service interviewed him. (Two Secret Service agents came to my work place a week after Lyn Fromme’s failed assassination attempt of President Ford.)
Manson gave the go-ahead for me to conduct a press interview. (Stern magazine in Germany assigned me to write the story. They will send a photographer to meet me in Vacaville.)
1976. postmark date not visible. KEEP PRIVATE; DON’T PUBLISH: You should of realized a lot of what I wrote you was not for a book—I didn’t feel no book without a tape (recorder)—youll see what I mean when we talk—Im not in (to) paper words.”
The Secret Service paid him another visit. The guards wanted to cuff him so he refused to see the SS men.
He asked me to accept Lyn Fromme, Sandy Good, Bruce Davis & the others in the family.
He referred to the letter from Ed George (the prison administrator) that said I might be a Manson follower and might be terminated corresponding with CM if they found proof. The letters CM sent to me to forward to Lyn & Sandy were not forwarded. I told him I could not do that.
KEEP PRIVATE: On the last page (page 3) he wrote, “You should of realized a lot of what I wrote you was not for a book.” He wants to have his words tape recorded.
(NOTE: He did co-author a book MANSON IN HIS OWN WORDS by CM & Nuel Emmons (his prison buddy who was released on parole). He never confessed in the book.
DON’T PRINT WHAT IS CONFIDENTIAL. He asks me again not to print everything he tells me. Once again I remind him of our agreement. I am the writer. If I am censored I will not continue our journey.
He asked me to contact two female family members on the outside and have them take care of his friend who was released from prison.

August 2 1976. from Vacaville. 1 pp on legal-sized paper. Sig (initials).
HE WANTS TO GET OUT OF PRISON TO KILL. Manson again voices concern over the ecological disaster, including whales beaching themselves “because the water is so bad.” I cant get out to start the killing –they got to be killed they got to stop doing what there doing

August 2 1976 from Vacaville. 1 page on legal-sized paper. ON
KILLING PEOPLE. This is the second letter postmarked August 2 1976. Manson moans about “being kept in the pit” (darkness). “Must I kill people to show them where there (they’re) at (on back of page 1).

August 9 1976 from Vacaville. 4 pp on legal-sized paper. Sig appears two times.
Manson heard a fellow inmate say this prayer out loud one night: “God help me git out so I can start killing them. A-men.”
How CM is suffering: “No sunshine, no radio, visiting friends in handcuffs.”
DISPENSATION: “Ive got dispensation.”
He writes President Ford making the “F” into a swastika.
IN A CHILD’S MIND: “How does it feel to be dealing with a 10 year old brain in a 42 year old skull.”
ON KILLING PEOPLE: “My minds thoughts move people—Im thinking on top of more people now than you have ever seen—I can kill anyone or anything I want.”
ON LYN FROMME: Of all the family member, she picked up his vibes & performed his will on, although he doesn’t mention her attempt to kill President Ford.
ON DISPENSATION: “Im not unfair or unjust in my doings & Ive long been at work on a job I saw to be done.”
HE IS SUPERIOR TO OTHER BEINGS: “I think in mass mind on levels past the common brain.”

August 12 1976 from Vacaville. 2 legal-sized pp. This is letter 2 of 3.No sig.
THE MURDERS WERE A WARNING: “I like Fromme & the rest of the family offered ourselves as a sort of warning & the dead bodies keep piling up…”
Manson sees us as “a bunch of blind people” who don’t know they are blind.
August 12 1976 from Vacaville. 2 legal-sized pp. This is letter 3 of 3.No sig.
ON KILLING & VIOLENCE: “Yes Im from & in a violent family but whats new about that would you call a lawn mower violent when its made to cut grass.”
ABOUT HIS SON: He wants to write to him if he could find his address. He said one day his son “will be here in the next cell.”
August 13 1976. from Vacaville. 4 legal-sized pages.
Confesses again: “Yes Im a animal killer or whatever it takes for my own world & the people with me. My knife is so sharp.
CM claims I am misinformed. He dislikes the media, calling them “blood sucking scabs.” He’s thinking about NBC’s request for an interview. Then he writes that I should interview him. That will “afford me to set the record straight. How wonderful you are. Were you on your knees when you said that..” (NOTE: I don’t remember what I said in my letter.
Later on he repeats that his society was peaceful; ours is violent.)
He wants me to interview Lyn Fromme, Sandy Good and Pat Krenwrinkel. PERMISSION
August 13 1976. from Vacaville. 2 pp on legal-sized paper.
Starts with a PS. Initials on other side of the page.
HITLER. He writes about the phony Jew & phony Christian. Both are into money. The Jews feed off Christian blood. When Hitler came into power that “90% of people are held to life by the money & without it they would wither & die.” Hitler ordered them out of “the country & they couldnt give up the money it had become there way of life—beyond good & bad hate or emotions Hitler knew they would die one way or the other.”
MORE ON LIFE and HITLER’s role: “There is an order to life animals as well as people & he seen it—He needed to give people there faith back.”
The news people are Jews.
Jews have crucified him. “Jews are maggots feeding off the sufferings of others.”
ON CHRISTIANS: “Christians are headless sheep.
THIS IS PRIVATE INFO: Manson advised me:

August 13 1976 from Vacaville. 4 pages on legal-sized paper.
CONFESSION. “You had best git one thing fixted (fixed) in your brain—Im a convicted mass murderer…that’s for sure.”
“Ive walked with life & death in my hands for a long time & understand Dispensation (he capitalized the word) from the souls truth & what takes life & what give it & all the laws of the gun & knife.”
Two of his prison friends were released on parole. He gave them instructions what to do but he doubts if they carry out his plan.
“PS: to RR secret file—never tell any one all you know or they wont need you no more.”
August 13 1976. from Vacaville. 1 legal-sized page, both sides. SIG.
Also letter from NBC about documentary & CM’s views on a violent society.
My response to NBC for CM.
My response to CM about the NBC flap (dated Aug 14 1976).
He asks me to be his press agent & Bobby Beausolieu’s agent for his art work. Once again, his request is denied.

August 18 1976. From Vacaville. 2 pages on 8 ½ in by 14” paper. He’s his own law. “Im my own police laws judge church government…I broke no law. The law broke the law.”
August 19 1976. From Vacaville. 6 pages on 8 ½ in paper.
MYSTICAL: “Most who don’t know want to know—bu when one does know they cont want to know. Like everyone wants to be god—everyone but god. God must look at all the sickness & pain death & the maggots that call them selves people.”
“No one wants to be nothing.”
(NOTE: Many insightful comments about Dennis Patrick O’Donnell, whom I refer to as the Clint Eastwood of the California prison system. O’Donnell sided with me on the Tough Dude showdown. See ltr of 10/28/76.
“You may tell me what you see or hear—what you think I could care less—thinking for the most part is unreal its like a person talking to themselves—Knowing don’t think it Knows.”
“The truth hides from grownups.”
“Truth is not a A-Bomb it’s a child telling it like it is & no like he wants it to be. Once you can see it as is then you can bring change.”
PERMISSION. About the book we’re doing. “It’s a shame we didn’t git a kecit tape & do a book from me but you can still end up with a good book because you are good with them paper words & you can pick through the things & put together a book from your the own soul…your paper words sayed more to me than all of others put together…you will have a books book.

August 19, 1976. from Vacaville. 4 pages on legal-sized paper.
Included is a story in the Enquirer about Paul Watkins a former family member who left before the Tate-LaBianca murders.
Page 1 is written in a light pencil and cannot be deciphered until it is made into a darker image when copied. In essence, CM is distraught by a magazine (unknown magazine) considerably altering and shorting his story.
He again refers to people as being lost sheep, meaning he is the proper sheep-herder.
On page 2: PROCLAIMING HIS ABILITY TO INSPIRE FEAR: “I hold a very high fear level & can speek into minds now cause few people understand anything they look to someone els (else)”—once again, he’s the sheepherder.
PERMISSION. Why he is writing to me: “That’s why I wrote you the letters so you could fix to book brains reality.”
On page 3. Fascinating—about his personality: “I know what I am that makes me arrogant—Ive got a mad mean attitude & Im not a good guy at all…how els could I of got my self in this mess.”

August 20 1976 from Vacaville. 8 pages on 8 x 11 ½ in paper.
THIS IS 1 or 6 letters written on this date.
CM once again comments about the Tate murders in August 1969. As in a previous letter dated July 7 1976, he mentions the murders as a warning to the nation. “A phone number was rang up the universal mind, August of nine in your year 1969. Are your souls so out of touch with the one of your own existence that you would play act with your own destruction & pass the blame on me.” (NOTE: See his letter dated 7 29 76 where he says he write: “Im my own police law judge church government…I broke no law—the law broke the law.” Or the January 27 1976 letter where he states he broke no law.)
In this letter he again states: “I broke no law to be here.”
He sees his “children” (family members) as being on a divine mission to save the earth’s air, water, trees from an ecological disaster.
He sees himself & family as trying to fix what’s wrong.
His mission is to “wake up the walking dead.”
MORE ON THE MURDERS: HE SEES HIS MISSION AS SAVING THE PLANET: “If Red (Lyn) like Blue (Sandy Good and the other girls in the family) like the rest of the people that were helping…and after 7 years you still haven’ seen the 9 dead bodies and the writing in blood on the walls and the thought that started coming in the courtrooms…you will become what you have been killing.”
“In my short life I can remember the Great Lakes used to have fish (Manson is now writing) & children swam there—when you cover my heads in the family (he mentions several members) & the rest of you only reflecting that your not even there (that is, asleep to the destruction being caused) –your in the money mind. (All this indicates he is the Savior.)
“…if you dont start a big change you will have no earth air or water or balance…like it or not that balance has been sold to the money mind.”
His mission is to “wake up a bunch of dead people. No one cares for nothing but the money God.”
August 20 1976. from Vacaville. THIS IS LETTER 5 OF 6. It’s written by CM. He refers to the story written by reporter Greg.
He again threatens to stop writing because his writing does not reflect what he thinks.

August 20 1976. from Vacaville. This is letter 6 of 6 written on Aug 20 1976. Sig.
He said I have not written to him ever since I picked up the two crates of mail from his family, friends and documents from prison. I replied that I’m burning the midnite oil sorting them out and trying to place them into categories.
August 30 1976 from Vacaville. 4 legal-sized pp. Everyone knows what Im doing a lot better than I do & they are taller & smarter & good looking & Im just a little lost child.”
CHILD AGAIN: “Im a MR child (mentally retarded)
CRIME FACTORY: The real wars the US is fighting is a cover-up for the war with our own kids. Society is on a rampage, glorifying crime & harming its children.
MY LAPD BROTHER: “You got a brother that is a police & I got nothing but a handful of misfits.”
September 10 1976 from Vacaville. Letter 3 pages on legal-sized paper.
Manson forgot to include page one. The letter opens with page 2 on the upper left hand side. In his “P.S.” (one page) he wrote that he instructed Red (Lyn Fromme) to send me some letters. He is putting together a crate of mail to send to me. Manson did send the crate to me—thirty pounds of letters from inmates in various prisons; children and adults letters from the USA, Canada, Europe and Australia. Letters from ministers on a Jesus trip; drawings and touching letters with landscape drawings from “Woman of the Land.” “permission.
September 10 1976 from Vacaville. 4 pages on legal-sized paper. NOT STORED IN ‘PUTER. COPY PRINTED. Sig.
(NOTE): Some of the letter was dictated to a buddy & some written in Manson’s writing.)
Manson again accused me of chopping up his words and adding to the confusion over his thoughts. He is referring to two letters I wrote in August 1975. (Yes, 1975 is correct.) He writes, “I want those letters back from you.” (I told him I cannot return them.)
He also writes, “I suggest you send me a copy of what I wrote I dont remember saying that I sent out a death list.”
ABOUT ME UNDERSTANDING: “Until you have seen into all rooms (seeing with the inner eye) how could you understand that which you have not seen.”
ON SHAKESPEARE: “Shake Spear didnt say all that can be said.” Manson is implying he is deeper than the bard.
COMPARES HIMSELF TO KING JAMES & GENGIS KHAN: “King James would hang 10 at a time for poaching in his forest & Genguh Kahn piled 1000 heads up in front of his tent. Were they over acting or just making a point…”
September 15 1976 from Vacaville. 2 pp on legal-sized paper. No sig.
Understanding is not found in racional (rational) thought. Reality is found in the world of not.
He believes in “neo thought” as it captures reality. A complicated brain (learned from books) cannot capture the reality beyond reality.
PICKING UP A PERSON’S VIBES: “More is shown to the eye than can be said with words.”
CRIME FACTORY: Society programs its people to kill, murder and commit mayhem. Kids killing their parents is a reflection of hate that is learned from the endless programs on violence given on TV, newspapers & movies.

September 16 1976. from Vacaville 2 pages on legal-sized paper. Signs off B Cool & his initials.
ME & THE FAMILY. Now that I’ve met several new female family members, including one that is married to Steve Grogan (a convicted family member) Manson feels I have achieved insights & will want to join the family.

September 21 1976 from Vacaville. 2-pages on 8 ½ inch paper.
“Fear is the name of the game,” Manson writes. (NOTE: In his very first letter to me dated August 20 1976 he succeeded in invoking fear in me. Take another look at that letter.)
Manson writes that Baba Ram Dass & Ed Sanders (NOTE: author of The Family) did not know or care about taking care of the world.

September 21 1976 from Vacaville. 6 pp on legal-sized paper.
THREATENS ME AGAIN. Manson addresses me as “Dear Sir”
He’s mad with Greg (the reporter from the Vacaville newspaper) for saying that he (Manson) gave a confession. “Im truly sorry you done your selves that way—one of you will not survive.”
“I know I didnt confess to things I couldnt confess to…you are the dum ass you think I am.”
“Git off me RR & I mean it” WRITTEN IN A BIG SCRAWL.
“Also wright everyone I know that Im through with you & you not my friend anymore.”

September 28 1976 from Vacaville Correctional Facility. Two-page letter on 8 1/2 inch paper
He continues to talk about getting him a kecit (cassette) recorder.
This would make it easier to help me write the book. permission
“What you see in me is in you.”
He makes another reference to ‘pig’ written in Sharon Tate’s blood.
He urges me to work with Elf, a Manson family member, in writing the

October 7 1976. from Vacaville. 4 legal-sized pages.
GEMS: “I got no hate. It died a long time ago.”
CM includes his signature on a signed 2”x3 ½” card.
He is true to himself. He judges no one. What others say about him comes from their own projections of him.
He writes about Jack getting out on parole. Later, in another latter, Manson will refer to him as the raven who will pay me a home visit to “git those letters back.” I refer to Jack as Tough Dude. He jokes about sending me a duck, which is worse than a raven. Or he will send me a hummingbird or a spider or a lizard.
He writes he has been “dead for eternity,” He will not threaten me with death.

October 7 1976 from Vacaville. 4 legal-sized pp.
More on DISPENSATION. People who cut down trees for money deserve to be killed. Manson is proud of the work done by the family members who started the organization called “International Court of Retribution” (IRC). Manson granted dispensation or permission to carry out their job to take punitive action against corporate and govnt leaders involved in killing the earth.

October 27 1976. from Vacaville. 2 legal-sized pages. This letter 1 or 2 written on the same date..
“…I dont think much at all—I know & I know knowing don’t try to prove—If its trying to prove then its trying to know. You are god—ok—you have my permission—I figure if you were you would never need to say it. I thought you were (NOTE: god) all along but when you felt the need to tell me then I guess thats you. I like you whatever game you wish to play.”
“If you dont want to play ravens with me then Ill (I will) play handball with myself.”
(NOTE: This is becoming ominous, as will be seen in the letter dated October 28 1976, when the raven—a dark force–is introduced.”
This warning on page 4: “And youll listen to what ever I tell you & keep your mouth shut

October 27 1976. From Vacaville. 2 legal-sized pages. This letter 2 of 2 written on the same date.
Threatens me the third for fourth time.
“RR your not better or worse than the other blood sucking maggots that feed upon me—I tried to reach you but all you done is take the little bit of thought Ive gave you & added your own past confusion & ambitions & came up with a brand of your own. I wasnt thinking of humiliating or degrading you that’s your own defeatist complex.”
(NOTE: He accuses me and Greg—a newspaper reporter CM hooked me up with—of being confused.)
THIS GEM: “I have been in darkness but that doesn’t make me darkness.”
“I never wrote no confession twice or signed anything like that you sick bitch mind you would sell your soul for something that ant (ain’t) there…yes Ive got the secrets and Im far to wise to give them up—Fuck all you people thats put me in a cage for 30 years…Im not angry at you you gave the newspaper things that ade me look like I had fucked up in my words & cut my balls off.”
(NOTE: He’s referring to the my story published in Harper’s Weekly. They printed his letter and made editorial comments.)
“Your the one in darkness…I can kill a fool if he gets in my circle & if my life is at stake.”
He calls me a punk.
“The truth is RR I would without anger or emotion cut your face off your tongue & leave you on display.” (NOTE: More degrading comments, including calling me a maggot again and other things. A few sentences later on page 3 he writes):
“Don’t kill yourself RR because you killed the only friend you ever came close to.”

October 28 1976. From Vacaville. 1 page ltr on legal-sized paper.
This letter is about our disagreement—battle is a better term—Manson wanted me to return his letters. Once again, I disagreed. The “D” in this letter refers to Dennis Patrick O’Donnell, a man tougher than Tough Dude and highly feared. D is likened to Clint Eastwood in his spaghetti films. D allied himself with me on the issue of returning the letters.
Manson informed me he will send the Raven to my place. Refer to the letter dated July 1 1976, where more info is provided on Tough Dude.
In this letter CM comments about D being another lost soul who has been tossed into society’s garbage heap.
I informed CM that I will send a dove to cool during our feud. He replied that he is sending the Raven.
D intervened and slipped a note to CM that no harm should come to me. D refers to himself as “the winner of a thousand battles.” If harm came to me, D would be the winner of 1001 battles.
Letter received in 1976 from Vacaville postmark not clear. Thirteen-pages legal-sized pages.
Included is a news clip from the Sacramento Bee dated March 31 1976. It’s a story about Jerry Rubin autographing a book for a fan. Manson asked to get a copy for him.
Also included is a one-page letter from a contributing writer for New Times. He’s asking a second time for an interview: “Together we could produce an extraordinary document abut who you are and how you feel.”
Manson made multiple comments on the sides of the letter; as well as comments above and below the page. One lengthy comment focuses on Timothy Leary. Manson says he tuned in and dropped out a long time ago. (NOTE: Leary and Manson met at Vacaville Prison. They had adjoining cells for a brief time. Their exchange is reported in my screenplay Tricking Charles Manson.
In another page of the the letter Manson focuses on Tim Leary and gurus who used LSD “to rewire the brains” of their followers. He mentions the government using LSD experiments to see its effect on brainwashing.
November 30 1976. from Vacaville 2 pages on 8 ½ in paper.
CM IS TRIED TO BRING ORDER TO THE PLANET. When he freed from prison in 1967 his mission was to save the water and restore the “earth’s balance” (eco-solution). “I call me a (he drew the swastika) life.” He wanted to stop the suicidal people from further suicidal acts on the planet. Once again the swastika is drawn.

December 1 1976. from Vacaville. 4 pages on 8 ½ x 11”.
NOTE: pages are 5,6 & two pages are not numbered.
Manson is writing to someone but the person is unknown. As he did not include pages 1-3 it is difficult to determine who the recipient is.
He uses fear to instill love.
“My works was only to free not slave”
ABOUT VIOLENCE VS NON-VIOLENCE: “You say nonviolence I would like that but what of the people who dont understand the ways of a gentil (gentle) child Ive worked to live a total destruction”
He talks about the woman he wants to take as his wife. She must surrender her will to him.

December 6 1976. From Vacaville. 2 pages on 8 x ½ in paper.
CM reminds me “what I git in the Xmas package will haft to last me a year.”
His list: Pall Mall cigarettes, Las Palmas or Mark 4 cigrs & some good smoke stuff, like Canadian pipe tobacco. Some good cocoa—no Nestles. Hard candy
He will send me $200 (I declined). He requests I send $100 in presents to Dennis Patrick O’Donnell.
He said if I ever to go prison he will not be able to send me a Xmas box but he could send me a song.
Manson says he can be trusted because he’s always truthful. “But you cant trust anyone els because they don’t even tell themselves the truth.”
He refers to an unnamed family members and writes: “No one named Charles Manson forced you to do nothing—He never judged you But its you who ran your own judgments on yourselves.”

December 8 1976 from Vacaville. No sig.
The letter is addressed to Timothy Leary; all six pages are devoted to Leary. (NOTE: put in background when Manson & Leary were in adjoining cells for a brief period and relate their exchange.)
Manson is furious with Leary. When Leary became an inmate he was recognized as the most looked-up man in the slammer. Manson was relegated to second place. Manson accused Leary of being responsible for selling out to the “money mind.” Manson accused Leary of being responsible for killing many children of the land “drop out to death” is Manson’s phrase.
He wrote that Leary was just another “school brain dummie.” Leary has “book brain confusion”—like others who are well-educated.
Leary is a coward, in CM’s eyes, for failing to languish in his cell for a long period of time. “You (Leary) cant sit in a cell with yourself.”
Leary did not have the courage, as Manson has, to sit in darkness and be willing to behold what the eye could see in the pit.
It is Manson who possesses the eyes beyond all eyes.
It is Manson who is the astute observer. “Just watching, not doing,” are Manson’s words.
“The eyes can teach much to the soul.”
Manson is angry because Leary referred to him as being an evil person. “I never use that word,” Manson wrote. This is in reference in their brief conversation when Leary called Manson “a control freak.”
ABOUT WISDOM: “Your words speek wisdom,” Manson writes, “but your actions dont match.”
ABOUT FEARING MANSON: Many people say “that I hold fear and that Im in fear. Leary, you may have some fear for me also.
ON POWER OVER OTHERS: “I never looked for power over others.”
Manson admires Leary’s SMILE.
Manson thinks Leary should move to India along with Jerry Rubin and Abbie Hoffman. In India they can “help Baba Ram Dassburg pimp off some more Christian ass
More attention is devoted to power.

December 1976. Vacaville 2 page ltr on 8 ½ inch paper.
“I never broke the law—they did.” (referring to the judge & jury in the murder trial. He sees himself above the law. In another letter he writes: “I am the law.”
He’s mad at the National Enquirer and other reporters. They failed to print what he said at interviews.
He’s helping me to write the book but he feels inadequate in “paper words.”
Tells how he learned a valuable lesson from a mule while in the desert.

December 13 1976 from Vacaville. 2 page ltr on 8 ½ x 11 in paper. permission
CM included the letter from the prison administrator (Ed George). The letter states that Richard Rubacher might be a Manson follower; is so, his correspondence with Manson will be terminated.)
CM hopes the upcoming visit with me will be an all-day affair. He wants me to bring cigarettes. I should bring an agenda. He doubts any publisher will clamor for the book.
December 27 1976. From Vacaville. 2 pages on 8 ½ in paper.
MYSTICAL: “I am the survival & the balance of both. I am one with my inner self because I think as a child—I don’t think I know—Knowing has no doubts no questions it is faith in what is, I put my faith in my Christ self & that’s me.”
UNUSUAL INTERPRETATION OF CHRISTIAN TEACHINGS: “You have committed no sin.” (NOTE: Matthew Fox, a Catholic priest was ex-communicated by the Vatican for his book Original Blessing. Father Fox never took to the idea of Original Sin.)
CM says we “were trained to think you sined” (sic).
CM says, “I am the truth & the way.”
He states the difference between him and me: “Ive been reborn in into new time & now is my reality” (NOTE: another advanced Buddhist concept).
January 12 1977 from Vacaville. 3 pages on legal-sized paper.
He asks me to be prepared for the upcoming interview. (It was a visit, not an interview.) He wants me to spend as much time as I can.) He will not see me unless he is not ‘cuffed. It turned out he wasn’t cuffed. He said some of what he tells me will be private. (Once again, I told him I am the writer.)
He wrote, “Dont come to see me unless you sent my last letters along.” (I told him I cannot forward any letters to the family. That will get me in trouble with the prison.)
(The meeting was the best of all possible worlds as we were escorted to the attorney’s room. No guards were present. Manson was not ‘cuffed.)
His prison friend Phil told him the chapters I sent CM were more about me than CM. Manson drew a smile.
March 1 1977. From Vacaville. 1 page on 8 ½ in paper.
CM says he will let me interview him when the prison removes its handcuff policy.
He’s peeved at two reporters who failed to send him copies of their story on him.

April 5 1977. From Vacaville. 4 pges on 8 ½ in paper.
Pages 1 & 2 CM writes about busting the expensive guitar I sent him. (NOTE: The guitar was paid for from the $$ STEN magazine paid me for the story. CM asked me to send messages to two male family members in prison. I had to decline that request for the same reason stated earlier.).
Page 3 is where CM warms up & speaks with clarity & wisdom.
“Take real good notes in what is written here—If Im to wright letters through you to some one who understands what Im wrighting & you in your fear don’t understand what Im wrighting & you cut it off then I cnat git any thought through your understanding of the world. True, you are your world & you live in your understanding of the world that you understand but the world is bigger than your understanding of all the levels of thought…the understanding of a truck driver don’t see the world from a cooks stand point—a police don’t see from a newspaper reporter & the first person don’t understand the thoughts of everyone because he is in the lead & only sees where hes going—the last persons understanding is in ALL fromm the last through the different levels of thought…”

March 18 1977. from Vacaville. 1 legal-sized page. No sig.
Addressed to “Buck.” I don’t know him.
Manson displays his expertise with guitars as he explains to Buck the type of guitar he is looking for.

December 21 1977. from Vacaville, 1 page on 8 ½ in paper
CM acknowledges receipt of this year’s Xmas package I sent. “The Shin cigars are really nice.”

November 7 1978 from Vacaville. One page letter 8 ½ inch paper.
“I was thinking if your gona come & see me…I must know a person over 90 days & your about the only person I know that hasnt been in prison or probation. Anyway Ive known you 5 years so that’s long enough for a visit. So if you come wright me a note It will be nice to see you.
“Easy, Charles Manson”
(NOTE: It would be another year before our visit. He folded the paper in a Japanese style. Interesting.)
December 5 1978. from Vacaville. 2 pages on 8 x ½ paper. CM tells me in this short signed message that I “have T, B, L—Truth beauty & love.
MYSTICAL: “Yes RR Im in harmony with what you say all is one & we are each other in the one of all—that’s a big thought…”Tomorrow “I go up the main line. If I get it, ill call or wright as soon as I can & we can do a visit thing.
April 3 1992 from Corcoran. NO SIG. 1 legal-sized page both sides. HIS FAREWELL LETTER.
Manson says that I am “a cold slimy ragtime cowboy shark…I always did and always will like you—BUT trust you HA HA.”
“I even forgot what you look like. When you didnt do what you said I felt raped & left alone….Now it seems you want to use me for something—I forgot all the good you did for me last time but I knew you were looking out for you & that’s JUST what I should of & will do. So you are a good teacher. Let us have a drink & think of this again—for what? & what do I git & HOW can I trust your brain. You always the smart one…I MUST BE CAREFUL.

be treated in USA or Thailand???

Posted: November 3, 2010 in Uncategorized

My good friend Jim Platzek–who was instrumental in getting me to come to Thailand for a brief visit in 2001–suggested that I return to California and be treated by my provider, the Kaiser Foundation.

I told Platzek he was a sick puppy. Treatment for hemodialysis requires four hours twice a week, plus thirty minutes to set up the machine. That amounts to nine hours a week of lying on my back.

I told sick puppy Platzek the INCREDIBLE cultural difference between being treated in the USA and Thailand. First of all, kon thai kii len–Thai people are playful.

Thai people have PLAYFUL NAMES. For example, my nurses at Bangkok Nursing Hospital are Honey (the ravishing beauty queen); there is Nurse Happy and Nurse Tick Tock.

Nurse Happy imitates my penguin waddle. I enjoy watching her waddle walk,

The head nurse is sexy Jeab. I asked her to give me a kiss (jup). She said she likes the idea but cannot jup me.

I told her that Dr. Bean, the kidney specialist who is the boss of the dialysis unit, said it was ok for her to jup me.

Sexy Nurse Jeab said, “I like the idea but cannot.”

Then there is Dr. Bean, always smiling. He makes himself available. Once, during a crisis situation, I phoned him from my condo; he was put thru to me by Nurse Tick Tock.

When I ran out of medications, Dr. Bean told me not to refill it at the hospital–too expensive. He wrote out a prescription. I had it filled at a pharmacy near my home at 1/3 the price.

Then there are the Thai patients. I always ask them (in Thai) if they speak Thai. “Can,” is their reply as they laugh.

One time, while waiting for the elevator in the lobby, a nurse was also waiting for the elevator. I asked what floor she was going to. “Floor five.”

I told her there was no floor five in the building.

She said I was lying.

When in the elevator she pressed floor five. I told her the elevator was lying about a floor five.

She asked if I was going to the mental ward.

I said, “Ha ha ho ho.”

She said, “Is true–you mental.”

I asked what her nickname was.

“Puu” (crab).

“Very nice,” I said.

I suggested that sick puppy Platzek come and see the eye candy galore that surrounds me in the dialysis unit.

Sick puppy Platzek came. He saw, He was convinced that treatment in a California Kaiser Foundation Hospital was a sick idea. I might save money as I am insured in California but I prefer to be in the hands of service-oriented, soft-spoken, cheerful, nurturing and crazy-nick named Thai folk.

Dr. Bow Tie, an internist on floor four, is named by me because he wears you-know-what.

For once, Richard da LIAR-heart is not lying.

PS: I am waiting for Nurse Ping Pong to appear in the dialysis unit.

NEXT POSTING: my thoughts on genius

karma karma karma

Posted: October 27, 2010 in Uncategorized

Monk Pandit, the man who steals our negativity, delivered a talk called “The future of karma” during his weekly talk on Thursday eve.

I was unable to attend; however, I pleaded with him to post his presentation on his blog–www.littlebang.wordpress.com

To my delight, Monk Pandit (Sanskrit for ‘Wise’) did post karma karma karma.

I later discovered from several friends who attended the talk that many audience members requested that Monk Pandit post his performance on his blog.

Now his dazzling, sizzling, inspiring, intriguing and written in a humorously and elegant literary manner, is AVAILABLE GLOBALLY, and, I am told, it is also available in the celebrated Book of Records (aka the Akashic Records).

In a clever fashion The Wise Monk tells us what is karma and what is not karma.

(Photo courtesy of Rubby Alvarez)

Enuf said. Go to his blog and enjoy his karma karma karma treat. http://www.littlebang.wordpress.com

(NOTE: The virulent verbal virus known as the ‘you know’ affliction was posted two months ago.

Since that time more have been added to the list. In this expanded version the five top non-afflicted with the virus has been added.

Another addition to the expanded list are the top five who have a serious case of this verbal disorder)

The verbal virus of saying “you know” has afflicted Hollywood stars like Kevin Spacey and Dustin Hoffman; the irritating “you know” has infected the movie mogul Quentin Tarantino. Tennis luminaries like Roger Federer and Andy Murray have succumbed to the verbal virus.

Deepak Chopra, the prodigious writer, philosopher and sage is infected with the scourge.

As is Barbara Walters, the legendary and mega-TVstar. In a September 2010 interview on the Larry King Show, Barbara spouted the virus every third or fourth sentence, showing that even professionally-trained super-stars and mega-stars are infected.

Smitten with the virulent verbal virus is another mega-star, Jay Leno.

Michael Phelps, the Olympian swimmer, has a serious case of you know-itis. Every second sentence the virus erupts. Phelps affliction is SEVERE.

Another person with the serious infection is Chris Collingsworth, the NFL football commentator

Non-celebs and non-sports people are plagued by the “you know” syndrome. Watch any interview on CNN or BBC. The interviewee will invariably spout the virus.

Kevin Spacey, the star of American Beauty, night club entertainer and master impressionist. was the guest on August 7, 2010 on CNN’s “Talk Asia.” Here’s an example of the exchange with the CNN hostess. Kevin, “I love imitating Bill Clinton, you know. When he was President he told me his throat hurt and he could not speak, you know. He asked me to do the speech for him. (Kevin did a remarkable two-sentence impression of Clinton.) “The President told me to forget it, as I was better than him, you know.”

Roger Federer after his loss in the 2010 Wimby quarterfinals. “My back was hurting, you know.” “I was also playing with a leg injury, you know.” “You know, I can beat the big hitters when I’m 100% fit.”

Andy Murray, when interviewed any time, any place, any where: “You know, my play is erratic at times.” “I’m looking forward to the US Open later this month, you know.”

George Clooney, actor, is infected. He appeared on Larry King on October 15 2010.

Terrell Owens, the star receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals, is unable to put together two sentences where “you know” is absent.

Anderson Cooper, the master commentator, has the verbal virus. Watch his impromptu comments on his CNN show. When reading from prepared text he does not spout “you know.”

A mild case of the virulent virus is found in Jimmy Wales, the founder of Wikipedia.

1st place: Kevin Spacey, actor
2nd place: Michael Phelps, Olympian swimmer
3rd place: Barbara Walters, mega TV star
4th place: Roger Federer, tennis player
5th place: Andy Murray, tennis player
5th place tie: Jon Stewart, the super star comic and host of The Daily Show has a bad case of the virus, as evidenced from his appearance on The Larry King Show seen in Bangkok on Oct 21 2010
5th place are the plague-infected Hollywood screenwriters, directors and producers
Also tied for 5th place are an avalanche of TV writers, commentators, weather reporters, directors and producers.

For some unknown reason, the Hollywood directors and producers and the TV producers and directors continue to avoid telling people to get healed from the virulent verbal virus.

1st place Oprah
Tied for 1st place Mr. Bean
2nd place Larry King
3rd place Steven Sackur (host BBC TV series Hard Talk)
4th place Wolf Blitzer, CNN host “The Situation Room”
5th place Tim Sebastian, BBC analyst

Redmond O’Hanlon, aka ‘the Spaghetti Trafficker,’ pointed out in two of his newsletters that the ‘you know’ virus irritates him. The former Spaghetti Trafficker is waiting for a serum injection that will result in a global healing of the runaway epidemic.

The Biggest Room is…

Posted: October 13, 2010 in Uncategorized

Room for improvement is the biggest room. That was a line in a TV movie I saw recently. Forgot the name of the flick. Soooo sorry.

I had a 20-minutes talk with Rubby at Monk Pandit’s soiree last Monday eve. Rubby, from Colombia, is the photographer of Monk Pandit’s photogenic photo that is found on my story on the scholarly and inspiring monk.

When the discussion with Rubby was done, I overheard her talking to a German gent. She said to the German gent, “That was the first time I had a serious talk with Richard.”

Rubby, the reason I cannot be serious is because telling the truth makes me ill.

Speaking the truth also makes me dizzy. In udder woids (this is my Noo Yawker tawk) telling da truth is bad for my complexion.

Another downer for tawking truth is that it makes me itch all over. That’s why you see me doing monkey scratching.

Finally, tawking da truth makes me gasp for breath.

This is a final finally—tawking non-truth is therapeutic, meaning it makes me happy.

As mentioned several times, many of my friends call me Richard da LIAR-hearted.

I have no clue why they chose that name as it doesn’t fit me.

medical condition 2nd update

Posted: October 8, 2010 in Uncategorized

I met with Dr. Bean, the kidney specialist at Bangkok Nursing Hospital on Thur., October 7 2010.

With his happy face, he told me the current kidney lab report showed my creatinine level was 6.0. The previous test, done three weeks ago, was 7.5

As mentioned previously, the normal level is 1.0

Dr. Bean told me that my collapsing from fainting spells is a thing of the past. That’s more good news.

Happy to report that my kidney functioning has improved due to a combination of dialysis and self-hypnosis treatment.

The dialysis Rx will be continued at Bangkok Nursing Hospital (BNH). I like Dr. Bean and the entire nursing staff. Nurse Jeab is the boss. She takes good care of me, as does Nurse Tick Tock. There is the beauty of the staff–her nickname is Honey. She’s also the youngest on the nursing team.

I always make my entrance into the dialysis unit with my penguin waddle. Two of the nurses waddle with me. “Khon Thai kii len.” (Thai people are playful.)

The self hypnosis will also be continued. Every day I chant a mantra “happy healing.” I chant it with VIGOR to impress my subconscious mind. With VIGOR, I clap my hands but the hands do not make contact. It’s a ‘non-contact’ clap of the hands.

I also view, again with VIGOR, two mental movies during the hypnotic session. I see people I know smiling as I tell ‘em that I am healed. This serves to trick the subconscious mind into creating the emotional outpourings into reality.

To the dance, Richard

PS: The next bulletin will be a revision to my childhood upbringing. It’s called “I am a snow baby.”

Life is too serious to be taken seriously.

Dr. Bean is my doctor

Posted: October 2, 2010 in Uncategorized

Hello and double hello,

Before my dialysis session on Thursday (two daze ago), I talked to Dr. Bean. His real name is Dr. Somchai; a kidney specialist, He is the boss of the dialysis section at Bangkok Nursing Hospital (BNH) in Bangkok.

I call him Dr. Bean ‘cuz of his remarkable smile and comical facial expressions, which is reminiscent of Dr. Bean, the TV and movie star.

“Dr. Bean,” I said, “I keep forgetting to tell you that I have had five blackout spells since I began dialysis six weeks ago. The last one was three daze ago. I was in the SkyTrain car when I collapsed.

“The staff revived me with smelling salts. They must have picked me up and placed me on the row of seats. The tram car was empty of passengers.”

I explained to that the staff put me in a wheelchair; made an express run to the first aid station where I was lay down on a bed. When my body trembled from being cold, a heavy blanked covered me. They gave me water; the two men and two women massaged my legs.

It took me an hour to recover from the dizziness. They placed me in a taxi. I told them I love Thailand too much. It took until the following morning for my dizziness and hurt head to recover.

After telling Dr. Bean all that, he said, “One possibility is that too much fluid is being pumped into your body during dialysis. I told the nurses to decrease the amount of fluid.”

“Huh? Is that all there is to the five collapses and blackout spells?”

Dr. Bean’s smile was reminiscent of Dr. Bean, the TV and movie star.

MY NEXT REPORT WILL FOCUS ON WHAT HAPPENED A WEEK LATER. The report will include the results of my ongoing self-hypnosis training to heal the kidney condition.

Adios, fare thee well, be with you zoon, Richard

PS: Send in your comments. No one has commented for a long time. Thank you sooooo much. Richard is signing off again.

medical update, hypnosis

Posted: September 28, 2010 in Uncategorized

(NOTE: This is an email message sent to some of my friends who asked for a medical update. Also included are info on my writing)

BAD NEWS FIRST. Da Brewsta, I am unable to attend your performance Sun. Oct 3rd when youil make your presentation “Law of Attraction” to the overflow crowd at the Pattaya Expats Club.

My reason: I collapsed yesterday (Monday, Sept 27 on a Bangkok Skytrain). I barfed–very embarrassing. The staff revived me with smelling salts, they ushered me into a wheelchair and took me to their first aid station. They helped to lay me down on a bed; I sniffed more smelling salts; they gave me water. I became very very cold; my body trembled. The Skytrain staff (two men and two women) covered me with a heavy blanket. They began to massage my legs which shook uncontrollably. It took an hour for my head to clear. Then they put me in a taxi. At home the dizziness and hurt in the head persisted. It took all night to clear my head. In the morning I was tickled to discover that I was A-okay. Count my blessings. I LOVE THAILAND TOO MUCH.

I must have fallen on my head when I blacked out on the SkyTrain as there is a big bump on the back of my head. It’s sore to the touch.

Good thing I didn’t fall on my you-know-what.

I am reluctant to travel, especially for a long bus trip from Bkk to Pattaya.

GOOD NEWS ONE. I finished the script, ‘THE SPAGHETTI TRAFFICKER &; Other Bangkok Characters” and sent it to the publisher last Saturday.

GOOD NEWS TWO. I got an email from the Director of the Religious Studies Program at Mahidol University, Salaya campus. He wants me to continue teaching “Hollywood & the Buddha” in January 2011. They pay well. It’s a fun class. The students, including monks, get to see character-driven films and report their findings to me and the class. I have them answer specific questions in their report. This is my third year teaching at Mahidol.

GOOD NEWS THREE. I started working on a new book, WHY CAN’T PEOPLE BEHAVE LIKE DOGS? Here’s a quote from Charles de Gaulle:

“The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.” Charles de Gaulle, former two-time French President

Below is a dedication to Audrey Hepburn. When asked to share her to the UN, here’s what she delivered:
Ms. Hepburn was the UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador and held the position until her death in 1983.

“For attractive lips, speak words of kindness…For lovely eyes, seek
out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the
hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone. People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of
your arms. As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.”

She called her delivery ‘beauty tips.’

A marvelous woman for all ages.

The book is about people who experience epiphanies (joyous insighs). Included are the female version of Oskar Schlinder, Father Kolbe (the priest in a Nazi death camp. He volunteered to take a place of a man who was to be sent to a dungeon and starve to death with nine other prisoners. The Nazis occasionally checked the condition of the condemned men. The SS guards were astonished at Kolbe’s attitude, as was the Camp’s Kommandant. Aldo included are the Dog Whisperer and Oprah (do you know she is the recipient of “The Order of the Smile?” Speilberg and the femme version of Oska Schlinder are also recipients of ‘the Smile” award.

The book is also about dawg behavior. Before I watched the Dog Whisperer at work with dawgs, I was bitten in the leg by a dawg on the grounds of a Bangkok temple. My friend said let’s take a short cut to the hotel in Banglamphuu section of Bangkok. A bunch of dawgs yelped and attacked us. My friend said run run run. I walked, thinking temple dawgs are harmless. Their bark is a bluff. Pay no attention. I was wrong. The leader of the pack tore into my right leg. I felt I was being snared by a shark. After leaning tactics from the Dog Whisperer I put it to use on a remote part of the resort island of Ko Samet when I was attacked TWICE. Read all about it when the book comes out. The Dog Whisperer has had many epiphanies; he has helped thousands of people, including Phil Jackson, the Los Angeles Lakers coach.

GOOD NEWS FOUR. I am in the ninth day of self-hypnosis training. Da Brewsta gave me the CD a year ago. I started listening to it during the 4-hour dialysis treatment. After day 14 of the training I will go solo, that is, not rely on the tape. I am using hypnosis to restore kidney functioning to its normal level, which is 1. Two weeks ago I was at level 7.5. The kidney doc said if I stop dialysis I will not survive at this high level. As we know, in hypnosis the conscious mind is bypassed to the subconscious mind which, after repetition, starts to make changes for us The tape is one hour 45 minutes. Every time I listen to it I find something i previously missed. To improve my kidney function I made three mental movies. I re-play the movies several times a day. I use my mantra many times during the day and night–it’s “happy healing.” It’s a cool way to trip out.

ha ha ho ho,


da Brewsta: Break a leg Oct 3rd, merde, knock ’em dead when you are front and center Oct 3rd..

Ja-eh, I am giving my humor talk to ToastMasters Oct 2. It’s called “I love Thailand too much.”

I just watched Larry King interview the celebrated Barbara Walters.

Unbelievable, this talented talk show host and TV mega-star is infected with the ‘you know’ virus.

Every third or fourth sentence she spouts the virus.

As mentioned already, unbelievable.

I am still on temporary leave due to writing deadlines. I now have two hot stories for the wire service agency as well as working on the new book, THE SPAGHETTI TRAFFICKER & Other Bangkok Characters.”

Keep your comments comin’. Thank you sooooo much.

richard da LIAR-hearted

On my last flight on Thai Airways I smuggled a panda bear into the passenger cabin. Luckily, no one noticed the panda. The passenger and crew focused on my other friends, the 10 penguins.

on temporary leave

Posted: September 16, 2010 in Uncategorized

I am on assignment for a wire service agency, working on a hot story.

My work-in-progress “The Spaghetti Trafficker and Other Bangkok Characters” received a go-ahead from a royalty-paying publisher.

As a result of this I am burning the midnight oil. Occasionally new material will be added.

Do continue to add your comments during my hiatus. Thank you soooooo much.

ha ha ho ho,
Richard aka Bangkokwriter, richard da LIAR-hearted