Archive for May, 2012

when my friend croaked

Posted: May 27, 2012 in Uncategorized

I was with my friend Herbal during his last moments before he croaked.
“Do you have a last request, Herbal?” I asked.
“Yep. Order a pizza for me.”
“Hello Thai Pizza Company in Bangkok, I would like to order a pizza for my friend who is ready to croak.”
“What ‘croak’ mean? the Thai pizza gal said.
I explained.
“Sooo sorry about your friend who ready to croak.”
“Tell her to stop yakking and take my order.”
Apparently she heard Herbal.” What ‘yakking’ mean?”
I explained.
“My friend wants to know if you have emergency delivery service?”
“We guarantee delivery to deathbed before him croak.”
“That’s good news,” Herbal said. “Make it half pizza pesto and half marinara.”
“Can do. Him want extra cheese and special baked bread?”
“I want pizza only.”
“Did you hear what he said?”
“Me hear very good.”
“Tell her to cut the yakking.”
“Me stop yak, Mr. Croak.”

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MY NICE NIECE

Posted: May 3, 2012 in Uncategorized

I received an email from my Nice Niece. She’s in the Marine Corps and serves as a 2nd lieutenant on the Defense Counsel Team. Nice told me she is getting ready for combat training.

“Scary,” she wrote.

I thought that the legal team was a piece a cake, meaning there was no combat activity. In my reply I suggested that Nice Niece invite her company commander (CO) to a Sunday afternoon coffee, croissant and Courvoisier over ice gathering in the Officers’ Club.

In her meeting Nice Niece would suggest that the combat training be put off until her next life.

She would also suggest that, instead of undergoing the rigors of combat training, she devote her time to hounding down rouge marines and coke-head marines.

A third suggestion was that she or the CO select a homeless woman and train her for the job. The homeless woman would get paid and become physically fit. As the saying goes, when you save one person, all of humanity benefits.

I’m waiting for Nice Niece’s reply.